i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
