I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
