who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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