Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
