How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
