you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize