Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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