My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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