wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
