Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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