Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
