He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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