threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
a search helicopter?!
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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