That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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