shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
