I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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