i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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