I want you more than these girls want KFC
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
