Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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