I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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