i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
