Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize