we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
