Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
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