don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
