She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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