oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
