that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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