i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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