She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
