I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
