Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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