hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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