toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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