that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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