I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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