Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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