Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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