I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
