His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
my liver is dry heaving
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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