i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
