i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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