Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
time to smoke my breakfast
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
