no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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