She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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