that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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