We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
