one two three fourrrrnication!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
