why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
