i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
