i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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