I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
