Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
