You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
