We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize