Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
