Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
