Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
