How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
