I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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