i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
