we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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