you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
