K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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