I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
