Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
