I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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