All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's never too late to be topless.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
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