We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
